Additionally to this blog, I’d like to talk, if I may, about the Olympics. First off, if anyone has any tickets lying about, I want them. But to the Paralympics. I’m not interested in the able-bodied one. I really wanna see para-volleyball - it’s probably the best sport in the world. Wheelchair basketball is a close second. Compared to the Paralympics, the Olympics is watched by more people, more money is spent on it, and a lot more money is made from it. I am one of the few who actually thinks the Cripple-ympics is more interesting. The games are far more competitive, and, I believe, more awe-inspiring. And thanks to the wars in the Middle East (and an acute observation by Jimmy Carr) our, already phenomenal, Paralympic team has recently become even better. So if y’all know of any para-tickets going let us know... assuming of course that due to the ineffably under-staffed security they haven’t all been blown to smithereens [again]. I’d like to say ‘I don’t know what imbeciles G4S have in their employ’, but I actually know exactly which imbeciles they’ve hired. How’s the job going, David? :)
So the big news, some of you already know. Some of you I’ve told, some of you heard it through the rumour mill. In either case, I have finally found myself a job that I don’t hate. For the moment I’m still at the pub, but for the last couple of months I’ve been going through the application process for the BBC’s Production Talent Pool. From over 3,000 applicants, I am one of 120 people who have a place. Essentially, when producers need people for running and/or production assistant jobs, they’re encouraged to pick people from this list what I’m on. That means that at any time they could offer me a contract. It could be a long weekend in Cardiff, or eight months in London. I just have to wait and see. This is also the reason why I’ve been forced back onto social networking sites. Remaining anonymous is not going to help me stand out from the crowd when it comes to securing a job in this field. This all means that in the very near future I could be moving to Lundun. I play the part of an obnoxious, self-centric tosser pretty well, so I should fit right in.
A few weeks ago I came to the conclusion that I wasted too much of my time doing nothing. I spent all of my time at work or asleep, and on my days off, I just slept a bit longer. So I decided to develop some hobbies. If you’ve read my last post you’ll know that there’s a girl at work who’s teaching my sign-language. Here are just some of the things I could say to a deaf:
‘Hello’
‘How’re you’
‘What’s your name?’
‘My name is...’
‘Shut your black mouth’
‘Go fuck yourself’
‘I wish you would die, you stupid retard’
All the day-to-day essentials, basically.
I have also bought, and am teaching myself to play the guitar. Thus far my repertoire includes:
‘Your Song’ - Ellie Goulding
‘Our song’ - Taylor Swift
‘You Belong With Me’ - Taylor Swift
‘Wind Beneath My Wings’ - Bette Midler
‘Hot and Cold’ - Katy Perry
‘Chasing Cars’ - Snow Patrol
Some are saying I’m the new Johnny Cash.
And then there’s my final hobby and my last bit of news. I’ve spent literally thousands getting to this point in my final hobby. It was seriously worth it, though. Youtube’s online editor was just tolerable enough to edit this one as a video... t'ra for now.
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